Finally! It is 2019!! The year where the weird turmoil of 2018 no longer exists. I don’t know if you remember 2018, but it was this funky space of being the best and worst year of my life thus far. The highs were really high, but them damn lows! Oy.

Anyway, it can seem counterproductive to spend so much time thinking and talking about 2018 when we are in a new year and ready to embark on a new journey or a new phase of the journey. But I am a diehard fan of the idea that you cannot know where you are going if you do not know where you have been. Sankofa. Even more than that, how you gon’ get where you wanna go if you don’t even have a damn destination in mind?

So while this blog post is about goal planning, it is about a very specific type of goal planning. Every year I see posts about how someone is leaving this or that relationship in the past. About how they not gonna allow people to treat them like shit in the new year. You know the ones: New Year, New You...mmmk sweetheart. They talk all this big talk about not holding grudges and getting past and all that jazz, but ultimately, HAVE NO PLAN! No matter the goal, if it doesn't have a written plan, some tasks to complete, and a follow through/follow up due date, that “goal” is dead in the water. Now, I know someone reading this is probably feeling like I just came for you, with no preamble and snatched your whole head bald. But look, if it don’t apply let it fly. If, however, that shoe fits, put it on and strut, because I am most definitely talking to you. Let’s Get to work!

Planning Better Relationships in 2019!

There are only three main tasks in planning for better relationships in the new year. Keep in mind that when I say relationships, I mean ALL the relationships. The relationship you have with you, with significant (or not so significant) others, family, friends, co-workers, etc.. If they are living and breathing with a pulse, then you can probably get that relationship going. Now, this does not mean you can impose your will on someone and what they want be damned. Nah! All suggestions here operate from a place of consent and goodwill.

The Three Main Tasks for Better Relationships:

1. Look at the past: what has the relationship been like historically? When did things change? How did they change

2. Look at the present: What is the relationship like now. How is it different from how it was historically?

3. Look to the future: what do you want/need from this relationship? What changes need to occur for it to be healthy and not cross your boundaries.

Seems simple, right? Well it is! Deceptively so. This requires honesty with yourself, a conversation with the party or parties involved. Of course, this work is under the assumption that this relationship is even WORTH saving. No, all relationships aren't necessarily worth it. But part of having the spirit of discernment, and to take no bullshit, is to know when that relationship might be dead. Sure, some can be resurrected, but would it be worth your time to make that shit happen…

I can’t give you more than I already have. But, here is a test to see if the relationship you wanna work on is worth it. And here is a #RelationshipGoals Guide to get you started on having the relationships you want in the New Year.

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