Here is a little disclosure about me, I don’t generally like autobiographies. I find that they can be terribly dull and full of pomp. I know I read The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish, but if you’ll remember, I also said that the writing left much to be desired. But Gabrielle Union's book We're Going to Need More Wine: Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and Are True was a delight to read! It was finished before I was.
Within this book, there were so many nuggets can could be the area of focus. We could talk about how we pretend to be something/someone we are not so that we can fit into various groups. We could also talk about what can happen to a relationship when our significant others' family doesn't like us. We can talk about the impacts of sexual assault, being with the wrong person, or finding the right person. But what I want to talk about is the process by which Gabrielle Union, not only created a wholly new unit with her husband, Dwayne Wade, but also what her experience in Blackness confirms and re-teaches us.
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Recently I had the honor of meeting with Dr. Jess for her podcast, Sex with Dr. Jess and we spoke about sexual compatibility. I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I think folk use the idea of being sexually compatible as a cop out.
What I mean is that we often work hard as hell to NOT try but then blame everything on sexual compatibility. We will say there is no chemistry, that we feel off, and have really done no work. Now, you know that I am a whole assed sex and relationship therapist so ima give you a short run down on the tea spilt in that conversation with Dr. Jess.